True to Form

160407 Cemetery Rd

This is the road to the North Cemetery this morning.  There’s about six inches of snow still on the cemetery as well.  Nothing is simple.

We have gone back and forth about where to have my father’s memorial service since yesterday.  You see, even if all of this melts the frost is still coming out of the ground and it will all turn into one huge mud hole.

We were going to have the service here at the house, which would have worked but I got a message from my sister-in-law this morning that my brother would not be able to attend.  He’s been in Greenland with the Air Force and his plane was broken and wouldn’t be repaired until Sunday at the earliest.

After a couple of “are you freakin’ kidding me” moments I started to take this as a clear sign that rescheduling would be the best plan.  I made a couple of phone calls, messaged the players that needed to be here and the day has been moved to May 7th at 2:00.

The funeral home has rescheduled the Air Force honor guard. I’m trying contact as many of those that were planning to go as I can.  Funerals are a funny thing in that you never know who is going to show up.  I’ll be here for those that miss the message and make the trip up – there will be coffee, tea and cookies as well as good conversation.

My mother died over 25 years ago and talking about death has come easy for us since – there’s nothing worse than not know what a person has imagined as their send off.  A couple of days before my dad’s death I was walking by his bed and he said “Remind me to tell you where the million dollars is buried.” I said, “What did you do? Rob a bank?”  His reply, “That’s neither here nor there.” I went into the kitchen to get him a little fruit and when I returned he told me it was buried in the cemetery.  He was talking about my mom and what she was worth to him.  The amount had changed to 10 million at that point.  He then went through the funeral plan to the letter – the honor guard, and taps. “That always gets me” he said a little choked up.

As I considered what we were going to have to do as a work around because of mud I realized that it wouldn’t be anything like what he envisioned.  I also felt as though I was getting a very clear message from him to just do it another day so it was right.

Our friend Jim, who takes care of the cemeteries and digs all of the graves has talked to me a lot in the past couple of days.  Telling me conditions, asking me if I was sure I shouldn’t reschedule, laughing about things he knew my father would have found funny.  They were long time friends.  When I called to tell him we were rescheduling he told me my dad had spoken to me.  I felt that was true.  He then reminded me that instead of telling people to wear boots they should be bringing a lot of bug spray. Just the thing I was trying to avoid.


3 thoughts on “True to Form

  1. Sorry for your loss. The distance in time between your parents death is the same for mine. My Mom was the last and she did not want to be placed in a vault. She was adamant about it. Well she died on March 27th four years ago and the cemetery had been flooded – there was no way to dig. We had a service in March which many family members were unable to attend. I think our loved ones do share information with us from the other side. In April my sister and I took a walk and I shared that my stomach was in knots knowing Mom was in a vault waiting her burial. That afternoon while sorting through books and cleaning a bright light flashed from behind me. I turned and looked at the dragonfly lamp on the bookshelf (which had not been on), it looked fine. Something within made me reach under the glass shade and ouch! my fingers were burned. Not sure how a light can blow when it isn’t even on but I said “Thank you Mom, I feel better now.” No longer did I worry. On what would have been Mom’s birthday family flew in, the sun was shining, and she had a beautiful service that would have met her expectations. Maybe your Dad is telling you the same thing. No matter when you have the service, if your whole family can attend it will be a loving experience for everyone, including your Dad. Love and Light!

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