Every year I post a year in review that is largely visual in nature. It seems that this year may prove to be different. There have been so many profound changes that the photographs would only just scratch the surface. I’ll throw a few in for good measure though, I can’t resist.
After living with my father for a year and a half I put him back into assisted living. It was a huge learning curve for me – but I learned that I cannot live with negativity day in and day out. Living under a black cloud only drags you into that black abyss and it becomes more and more difficult to climb your way out. In my heart I know it was the right thing to do for everyone involved yet on some level it feels like failure. I’m working on getting over that in ways that feed my soul.
Living here helped me maintain my sanity. The close proximity to nature was a balm many times during each and every day. Being able to see magnificent sunrises so many mornings began my days in a positive way. It was a summer of rainbows – every day it seemed . Hiking trails at the park, new trails in old familiar places brought discovery and appreciation anew. Let’s face it, it’s quiet here, it smells good and nobody bugs you. What more could the introvert in me want?
Then there were weddings, lots of them. My favorite was the marriage of my daughter – here. Ten people, surrounded by my gardens in full bloom. My favorite moment – the family humming Pachelbel’s Canon in D while Amanda and her father walked down the little makeshift aisle, thanks Cait for getting it rolling. Although Amanda and Yusuf have been together for 9 years and we all knew this was coming it still felt like we were giving her away. It was a line for me, both joyous and sad.
As if all of this wasn’t enough November 11th was the birth of our first grandchild. A boy who dear husband Bill never thought he was going to see (and now has big plans for). Another shift in my life – from mother to grandmother. I’m not sure how it affects other people but the generational shift has always been a profound one for me. When Amanda was born it took me a while to wrap my head around going from daughter to mother, I’m still getting use to the idea of going from mom to grandma. He is wonderful and I’m enjoying watching them grow into a loving family.
All through this the constant has been craft. The ability to make and do things with my hands is the thread. It feeds me – no, it is a necessity. If I wasn’t able to create something, on a daily basis, I would have sunk into that deep, dark hole long ago. It sustains me. It seems odd to me in some ways to admit this. I have been a crafter all of my life. My modus operandi is to learn a new craft, work it to what I deem the best I am capable of (more of a plateau really) and move on to the next craft. This year was all about weaving – again. It was the realization that I’ve been searching my entire life for what my hands knew how to do. Weaving has connected me to my past, to people I remember and loved the most. It is something that will probably take the rest of my life to move towards perfection. Meanwhile it calms me and helps me to reflect on daily life, meditation. Something we all need and I daresay find in little things we do. We just need to recognize it.
The new year is promising in so many ways. Growth is what it’s all about. I’ll keep on sharing my skills and insights. I’ll watch my family and friends embrace the changes in their lives and hold them all close because really, that’s what it’s all about.
Fort Pelham Farm 