Life’s Complications

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There are moments in life, not everyone’s mind you, when things come out of the blue that give you joy and anxiety and a host of other emotions all in one instant.  You feel like laughing, crying and vomiting all at the same time.  Finding new family members is one of those instances.

At this point most people know of my reunion with a son I gave birth to more than 40 years ago.  The instant it happened the emotions were raw and I dare say violent.  This has just happened to a dear friend of mine and I was the bearer of the news.

Adoption touches many more people than I realized.  When you’re going through it yourself you think you and your immediate family are the only ones, it closes in around you.  Finding my friend’s sister gave me a new perspective.  I can also feel the weight of the emotions she’s carrying while a possible reunion is imminent.

We weave a tangled web, all of us. I’ve come to believe by the time you are entering old age you can reflect on your life and think “what a mess”.  Some of us have opportunities to revisit some of those messes, they come full circle.  Some of us are just encountering messes that were left by other family members that have encompassed us without our knowing for our entire lives.

Bam , your WTF moment.

That’s how it feels and your life takes an unexpected turn.  That’s how it felt when I typed “I found her” in the subject line of that email this morning.  I was so happy to do it and yet I knew she was crossing a line of demarcation in her life.  Wow.