The Clocks

April 7, 2014 / handmadebyjo / Leave a comment

This past Saturday morning the family clocks were taken from the house for cleaning and regulation. They were taken by a man I have known since the early seventies. I have known that something needed to be done with them for many, many years. They used to run. I missed their chimes and the deep tick tock of the oak wall clock. There is nothing that whisks me back to childhood faster than closing my eyes and listening to that clock. There were times at my grandparents house when it was so quiet that was all you heard (I have to add that it is a particularly loud clock).

The story goes that this clock was taken from a factory by my grandfather. They were replacing it with something else I assume, I’m also assuming it came from a woolen mill. It was filthy, black I’m told. He painstakingly took it apart, cleaned it up and got it working. Then it was placed on the wall in his parlor on Stafford St. There it ran for most of my life, it probably ran for a good deal of my father’s. When my grandmother left the house for a nursing home it was the first thing that came to Rowe. There it ran on the wall in the living room for another 20 or more years. My children had the pleasure of growing up with it’s sound and presence for their childhoods as well.

The workmanship on this clock is spectacular. The woodwork, the brass is beautiful. It is the sound that is most important to me though. We complain about not knowing what time it is in the middle of the night because it no longer runs.

I have to tell you there was a little anxiety when these clocks went out the door on Saturday morning. The only reason they did is through a conversation I had with someone the day before. She told me her brother in law was repairing clocks now that he’d retired to Heath and gave me his phone number. I went to high school with him, worked a summer job with him, knew where he lived. The only other lead on clock repair I’d had was a guy in Conway. I didn’t know him but I knew he was good – I just couldn’t call him. I didn’t know where he lived and I couldn’t let them go.

I’ve been told it will take about 6 weeks to get them going again, they will then be returned, put in their respective spots and started up. They will be worked on until they are running perfectly. I’m beyond happy about this and so pleased they are with someone I know. I’m also looking forward to waking up at 4:00 AM and knowing what time it is.

Throwback Thursday

April 3, 2014April 3, 2014 / handmadebyjo / 3 Comments

This is my favorite photograph of all the ones I have from my father’s side of the family. A few months ago I was thinking about our connection to water, swimming and boating and thought about this image. I went looking for it in the place I last remembered it being located and it was missing ( along with a lot of other memorable photos). I came across them a couple of days ago – woo hoo!

This image was taken on Holland Pond in MA around 1936. I really don’t know any of the story around it. Who’s boat was that? How far away was the photographer (no long lenses then)? Was this vacation?

My father has been filling in details as photographs have been coming out from family members recently. He told me that every year his father had vacation in the first weeks of July because the mill shut down. This is when they went to Canada to visit family and took time to do vacation sorts of things.

My father looks like one happy kid in this photo. I recognize that smile – our children were brought up on water and in boats. They always had that same smile while they were on the water.

They also took the photos with each other. Vacation photos. Take my picture photos. It’s nice to see that has happened for as long as there have been consumer cameras. Now these common photos are family treasures.

When I go through my archives and now with new images coming to light I know that this was probably my grandfather’s 1928 Chevrolet Coupe. My father tells me about an accident they had with it in Canada. It’s funny what he remembers (everything).

It’s funny how things repeat themselves over and over again, generation after generation. My parents always took vacation the last week in June or the first week of July. We always take ours around the first two weeks of July. Maybe it’s a regional thing because of the weather but I’m willing to bet it has more to do with your upbringing. Just as I’m willing to bet these take my picture moments are half done out of the notion that it’s what you’re supposed to do while you’re on vacation.

Food Friday – Brownies

March 28, 2014March 28, 2014 / handmadebyjo / 1 Comment

One of my absolute favorite things to do is cook for other people – especially baking goodies. There are times when nothing will do but chocolate. There is comfort in it, there are lifetime memories associated with it, chocolate is love.

I was asked to bring “brownies or something” to Paul’s celebration of life tomorrow. I immediately knew the recipe I would use. For years I had a reputation with my family members (especially my children) that I was the master of disaster when it came to baking brownies. As the girls got older they would bake brownies often using a mix. They had no trouble at all. Me, well let’s just say if it comes out of a box I am completely incompetent. I would burn them, or they were so undercooked they would be inedible. I think it was because I followed the directions, messed up and then over compensated on the next try. Amanda had it down, knocked off a couple of minutes for the particular pan she was using and they always came out perfect.

I took this as a challenge in the back of my mind, one day I would conquer my relationship with brownies. I read this recipe years ago in Yankee Magazine and it completely changed my outlook on brownies. It’s called Julie’s Brownies and really is the best recipe ever – deep chocolate, sugar crust, brownie perfection. The only caveat is it makes a HUGE batch.

The recipe starts off with 8 ounces of unsweetened chocolate and 3 sticks of butter set on low heat to melt together. I once made the mistake of using semisweet and although it was a near disaster there were many people who liked their cloying sweetness. (I wasn’t kidding about my problem with brownies).

While the chocolate/butter is melting butter your pan and sprinkle it with sugar. I just dump a mound in the middle of the pan and shake it around until the pan is coated, then dump the excess in the sink.

This has such a wonderful smell while it’s heating through. Once melted let it cool to room temperature.

Now I know not everyone likes walnuts in their brownies (or anywhere for that matter) so I chop about 3/4 of a cup to be sprinkled on half of the pan, this way everyone is happy. I buy walnuts and pecans in bulk, use a vacu-sealer and freeze a cup and a half per bag. I always have nuts for that impromptu baking session. That nut grinder? If you don’t have one get one, they are awesome and go right into the dishwasher.

Half a dozen eggs go into the stand mixer.

Along with 3 1/2 cups of sugar. You read right, 3 1/2. I measure carefully knowing this is another potential hazard for me – losing count.

Once the eggs and sugar are mixed you add the vanilla. I made this for Christmas presents a couple of years ago – it is amazing. There’s another disaster story that goes along with this. One time I was making these brownies, grabbed the orange extract and put in the two teaspoons – aarrgh. Those were an epic fail.

The chocolate/butter is added, then the flour and mixed until just combined.

Then poured into that nice sugar coated pan. This is a 12 x 17 jelly roll pan. That’s a lot of brownies my friends.

Before they go into the oven I sprinkle on the nuts. These look delicious and smell heavenly while baking.

And here they are out of the oven, perfect. Once cooled I will cut them into squares and arrange them in a basket to be delivered to the church tomorrow. Some of the people I love the most will be there and even though they probably won’t give a thought to who made the brownies I will know how much love was put into them.

Adopt a Mutt

March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 / handmadebyjo / 4 Comments

Dogs come to us in different ways. For years I went the purebred route – yes, poor Sophie is a purebred. She must come from a weird line. I adopted a Samoyed years ago that had so many issues it came to a very sad end. She was a product of particularly bad breeding compounded with initial owners who had no idea what they were doing. After that I swore I would never adopt someone else’s dog, ever.

Along came Chester. We’ve had him for almost 2 1/2 years now. He had some issues when he came to us but this is a classic case of love can fix a whole lot of wrong. He’s become quite comfortable with us as a matter of fact. He still doesn’t like being left alone but the panic is gone. He still doesn’t like being in a crate but now he sees it as his bed and not a punishment. He’s still afraid of everything – not in a cowering kind of way but if something startles him he runs in the opposite direction. Bill thinks it’s good to have a dog that considers self-preservation. He’s afraid of the dark so he won’t go out of the perimeter of the spotlight at night. He will stand on the edge and woof (more of a woo woo).

My sister got a puppy last weekend from a rescue group. She’s 12 weeks old and seriously cute. She’s bright and will be a very good dog I’m sure. Her daughter posted a link today about a woman who’s project it was to photograph the least likely to be adopted dogs at her local shelter. Her photos are beautiful. When I read it I knew that I could never set foot in a shelter or I would come home with a car load of dogs.

I’m happy to see the shift from owning a purebred to adopting a mutt. There are so many of them that need adoption and if Chester is any indication an adopted dog could very well be the best dog you’ve ever had.

Throwback Thursday – Those Family Photos

March 6, 2014 / handmadebyjo / Leave a comment

I posted this photograph at the risk of my siblings never speaking to me again. I was looking for something totally unrelated and found a few of these taken at Perry’s Nut House in Belfast Maine in 1966.

Apparently this was the beginning of my photography career. The camera around my and my sister’s neck were acquired with Kellogg’s box tops I seem to recall. I used that camera a few times and still have it with my initials emblazoned on the front of it with a permanent marker. I’m not sure the photographs I had taken with that camera are even around anymore.

We all went through those incredibly awkward stages. Your mother took your picture standing in front of ridiculous things, dressed in ridiculous clothes. We pull them out every so often and think to ourselves “What were they thinking?” or “Who the heck was dressing me?” or “Were those really the only glasses available in the mid sixties?” What I am finding out, more so as I get older, is the importance of some of these images to other family members regardless of how annoying they are to me.

Distant family members set up a memory page for a branch of my father’s side of the family a couple of days ago and many photographs have been shared. I can’t describe the feeling of seeing pictures of my grandfather that I have never seen before. He’s been gone since 1976 and it feels like this tiny little miracle getting just another, new glimpse of him. We all have the same photos we look at over and over – more so after someone dies. It’s a finite number, you memorize them, inventory them in your head. When someone shares a photograph at first it is so unexpected, then it’s an image you take into your heart. It’s a pretty wonderful thing.

With the photos of me and my sister and brother I laugh at them initially, then I see our children and grandchildren in those faces. There’s the miracle, right there. We are blessed with the technology that now allows us to record with abandon but it’s only a recent phenomenon. My generation and all those before us have a limited number of photographs and I think, no matter how embarrassed you might be, it’s important to share them with your family. You never know what they are going to get out of it.

Meanwhile I’m thinking, “Really Brian, nice socks!”

Birthday

February 25, 2014February 25, 2014 / handmadebyjo / 3 Comments

I have always contended that your birthday holds the most importance to your mother. She was the one closest to the event, she was the one most profoundly affected by it, she is the one who holds those memories the closest. In recent generations birthdays have been celebrated in a variety of ways from a simple cake to a “destination” party. It wasn’t until I gave birth to my own children that I understood the reason for the celebration. It’s your mother’s celebration. It’s a day of reminiscing about your birth, the stories are told.

I was always amazed that my mother would remember the minute I was born – 5:31 AM on a Saturday. She would wake me up often at that time to wish me a happy birthday (although in the back of my mind I’m not sure that wasn’t some evil prank). There was always a cake and a gift or two, the song was sung. Our celebrations were always pretty subdued – but the story was told. It helped shape who I am.

I remember the birth of each one of my children like it was yesterday. Each one unique, each has their own story. But, it’s not so much their story as it is mine. You would think that the older they get the more the memories would fade but it’s in the celebration of each child’s birthday that keeps those memories so alive. It’s in the telling of the stories that gives the events meaning and importance.

My mother has been gone for almost 25 years but she is the one I silently celebrate this day with, I remember the story.

A Hogwarts Inspired Dessert

January 7, 2014January 7, 2014 / handmadebyjo / 1 Comment

At our little gathering last weekend one of the sweets I made was Pumpkin Pasties. These were far more delicious than I expected and were incredibly easy to make.

For the filling I made my regular filling for pumpkin pie, baked it until set and then just scooped it out of the baking dish as I filled the pastry.

The dough couldn’t be easier although it requires some work. It’s 1 1/2 cups of four, a stick of butter and 8 ounces of cream cheese. The butter is cut into the flour as you do when you make a pie crust. Once that is done you add the cream cheese and mix until it sort of holds together. Dump it out onto a floured surface and knead it until it holds together. This takes quite a bit of work, I honestly didn’t think it would ever hold together but eventually it did. Wrap it in plastic wrap and chill it for a minimum of an hour – I left it overnight.

I rolled the dough out (quite a bit of work in itself) until it was about 1/8″ thick. Using a 4 inch round cutter I cut the dough. This dough is very pliable, easy to roll out and fill. Putting each round in my hand I filled them with about a tablespoon of filling. I had beaten an egg with a little water and used my finger spread a little on the edge then pinched the edges together to seal. After putting them on the baking sheet lined with parchment paper I brushed them with the egg wash and sprinkled them with sparkling sugar. Then I cut a couple of vents in the top of each one.

Bake them in a 350 degree oven for 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. They will be a nice puffy pastry when they come out of the oven, quite beautiful.

Everyone thought these were delicious. The pumpkin filling was something unexpected in a tiny turnover. I think I will make these again deviating from the Hogwarts Express pumpkin thing and make them with an apple or blueberry filling. Maybe we just like our fruit better than our vegetables.

A Year in Review

December 31, 2013December 31, 2013 / handmadebyjo / 1 Comment

January was spent trying to finish my thousand cranes – a resolution I make every year and never quite finish. I figure a couple more years and they will be done. I do recommend this to any and everyone. It’s simple to do and is one of the most meditative things I have ever done.

The weather was wintry and exquisitely beautiful. Each and every storm left behind a landscape that screamed to be walked through on snowshoes and photographed. The quiet that goes along with weather is restorative and I always look forward to a snowstorms aftermath.

St. Patrick’s Day will be one of the most important days of the calendar year to me now, not because I’m Irish but because it was the day I talked to Scott for the first time. Given up for adoption in 1972 I had come to regard this moment as something that may never happen. I had left information on a website and through a convoluted chain of events was contacted through an intermediary. The rest of this year has been spent with each of us getting to know our new family members, a blessing in so, so many ways.

Sugaring this year was amazing although the snow was rather deep in the beginning. A lot of work gathering those buckets without the aid of snowshoes. It makes up for it when we boil and smell that hot maple goodness wafting through the sugar house.

Spring came in its normal time this year, no hot spells or odd cold snaps and the pear tree was happy.

I made my first overshot throw in wool and discovered a passion for weaving that far and away exceeds any other handwork I have ever done. My grandfather had wanted me to weave I think, I have a faint recollection of receiving a small, plastic kids loom when I was very young but without someone to teach me. This has been a special journey with a connection to just about every member of my family.

Every morning the weather cooperates this is what I look at as I drink my first cup of coffee. There is nothing like walking out the door in your pajamas and sitting in an Adirondack chair overlooking your land. Day to day the view is different, each having its own beauty. I feel very, very blessed to have this be such a big part of my life. It’s grounding.

The end of summer brings with it the fairs. I took full advantage this year. Heath Fair is one of my favorites with something for everyone. I also had some validation with winning a blue ribbon for my weaving.

Wood, wood, wood, we cut and split a lot of wood. It’s best when it’s like this – family all gathered to make it all go quicker and easier. It’s also more fun. Everyone pitched in and Chester thought is was awesome.

Chester started swimming this summer. He is a very hot dog when the weather is warm but loves playing fetch more than anything. This was the perfect solution. He was a bit of a panic swimmer the first day but after that he looked forward to coming to this spot each and every day we were in Rowe, sometimes twice a day. He is an amazing animal.

My garden had its issues this year but my popcorn, the experiment of the year was a complete success. There is no better feeling than finding out there is something new you can grow that’s beautiful and functional.

I went to Belfast, Maine to Fiber College this year and spent quality time with old and new friends and ate lobster every day. It was a fiber weekend for some but for me it was more about photography. I need to be alone to do my best work and I came away with images that were everything I wanted them to be. It was also a time to reminisce about childhood, we spent many summers up this way while I was growing up and I hadn’t been here in a good 30 years.

This autumn the foliage was more beautiful than I had seen it in years. So many of my friends shared exquisite images of scenes right out their front doors that were breathtaking. Photography slows me down and forces me to look at the details. The photograph above of the red tree was taken almost at dark. I drove by it in the center of town, said wow to myself and kept driving. By the time I got to the bottom of the hill I turned around to capture this. In my head I initially said “Oh, just take it tomorrow” but a few hundred feet down the road I realized that it wouldn’t be there. Those are the best photographs, the ones that catch that fleeting moment.

This fall I saw some of the most amazing sunsets ever. Enfield never looked so good under these vibrant skies. This particular evening it seemed that everyone I knew posted a photograph from a different place. It was like the sky made everyone stop whatever they were doing to watch. It’s comforting to know that the people I love were all looking at the sky at almost the same time and then sending what they saw to others.

Thanksgiving weekend was about family, our immediate family. What is usually a crowd was just Bill, me and the two girls, our nuclear family. It was the first time in so many years that it was just us and it was wonderful. It’s probably the most difficult thing to experience – the loss of your children to adulthood. The best time of our lives was raising our girls and they have both turned into amazing, remarkable women. It was good to have the opportunity to have them all to ourselves. For a treat Bill built an amazing bonfire to share with them and a couple of their cousins.

Christmas has come and gone, although the remnants are still in the house. A few decorations will return to their boxes in a week or so and life will begin its new cycle. There aren’t any resolutions this year for me other than to absorb the gifts around me. The time seems to go by so fast each year it leaves me breathless. I will spend the winter months planning the garden, weaving and cooking for the people I love. I will follow in the rhythm of the seasons and work the way I do for each year. It may seem a little dull but planning my life around what’s growing or the weather is the most comfortable way for me to live at this moment in time, you just roll with it. I take every moment spent with the people I love and savor it like a fine wine. Those times of love and laughter are what sustains me through any other trials that come along. The simplicity of it is all I need.

Some Weird Weather

December 22, 2013December 22, 2013 / handmadebyjo / 2 Comments

I got up at 7:30 this morning and wasn’t able to see out of the windows in the house. The temperature had risen from 41 degrees when I went to bed to 52 degrees now and the wind was gusting up to 30 mph. Every window in the house was fogged with only one in the corner of the patio having a little visibility. In looking out of it what I saw was banks of fog rolling through the fields, swirling about like I see the snow doing on those windy winter days. Well, it was beautiful a day or so ago. Now I’m afraid Christmas is going to look more like mud season. Sigh.

From year to year I always dream about how I can make my home as warm and festive as possible for my guests. Snow always enters into the picture because in my mind is always that Norman Rockwell ideal. Truth be told the snow doesn’t matter that much. It does during the day when I look out the windows as I’m doing my preps for the big Christmas eve dinner – it helps me feel the mood. When the appointed time arrives and the candles are lit along with the fireplaces and everything is bathed in the glow of firelight it is Christmas.

Having an old, old house helps to bring back the Christmases we all envision in our heads (at least I do). Mulled cider, roasted meats and vegetables, candied fruit, cookies, music and laughter. The only thing that’s changed is the wardrobe. I try to treat my guests to the best I can do mixing traditional and expected with some sort of culinary surprise. Years later they still talk about my “Seven Swans a Swimming” dessert which involved petit choux swans filled with ice cream swimming in pools of chocolate. I must admit they were pretty spectacular.

It’s the little things, the details.

After the day I will post what I have in mind right now for the surprise. We’ll see if it gets pulled off. Meanwhile I will just hope for a little less fog so I can make my way for ingredients.

A Difficult Topic

December 18, 2013December 18, 2013 / handmadebyjo / 3 Comments

Each morning when I think about what to post in this blog I try to keep it positive and light. When I get up in the morning the first thing I do is make myself a cup of coffee and peruse the social media sites to see what’s happening with the people I care about most. Daughter Amanda shared an article that I just can’t shake. I shared it immediately but really feel like it deserves a wider audience.

The article was in the New York Post entitled “Diary of an Intensive Care Nurse” and Amanda’s comment was “The ugly truth . . .”

I rarely blog about my children, I don’t want to embarrass them or intrude into their worlds but this is an exception. Amanda went to school and earned her BSN from Elms College in 2009. I’m not so sure her career path happened by choice or coincidence but she ended up working the surgical side of a cardiac ICU for a number of years. She is a wonderful, highly intelligent, empathetic woman that anyone should feel relieved at being under her care. She is an amazing nurse.

Over the years we have had many a discussion about the very things talked about in the article. There were often conversations about the justification of the interventions used. There is always the question why – was it family? money? physician hubris? In her position you can only do the best for the individual in your care, your job is to keep them alive at all costs. You make them as comfortable as you can all the while knowing many times that the best thing would be to just let them go. I worked long-term care for years, many of those years in hospice (I have to say some of the most fulfilling years of my life). Dignity in dying has always been a topic of conversation. I have found more and more health professionals that will tell you that medical intervention is not for them. That DNR tattoo thing is something I’ve even thought about – more so as I get older.

People need to have honest conversations about death and dying because that is where we are all headed. We all dream of dying peacefully in our sleep but the reality is that death can be messy, it can be ugly. I have to wonder though if some of that ugliness would be far less if we just let nature take its course. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be proactive about our health. There are some health concerns that intervention makes your quality of life so much better. There comes a point though – a line – when intervention isn’t in anyone’s best interest. I know from personal experience that once you file a complaint with a physician there is a moment where you get onto that roller coaster and have to stay on it until the ride is over. You are no longer in control. The most empowering thing I have ever done is tell a surgeon that I would consider the surgery he wanted to do but in the end I told him no. I chose not to get on that roller coaster. It was not life threatening but it did show me that just because a doctor tells me I should do something doesn’t mean he knows me well enough to make the end decision. It is my life and health after all.

Read this article, then have a conversation with your loved ones about it. It’s not an easy conversation to have but in the end it’s better to have the people close to you know your wishes before you are in a situation that requires entering the health care arena. Hopefully you can find a strong advocate for your care. I know I have one in Amanda.

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