Spring Has Sprung

March 31, 2016March 31, 2016 / handmadebyjo / 1 Comment

The signs are all there now, the crocuses are blossoming, random garlic is coming up. I say random because I didn’t plant any last fall so there must have been bulbs that I missed. A pleasant surprise. The leaves are coming out on my strawberries which I had given up for lost since they had been totally taken over last year. I figured it being their first year they had been choked out. It gives me an opportunity to weed all around them and mulch, we’ll see what happens. No asparagus yet but the rhubarb is coming out of the ground.

The robins are back and I have to tell you there is nothing like hearing their sweet, sweet song. I always forget how much I miss it until I hear it. There is no more obvious a harbinger of spring for me.

Sugaring is over, the last boil was this past Sunday. I was afraid I was going to miss it altogether and had threatened to boil syrup on the stove to make sugar just so I could smell it. The syrup made over the weekend was my favorite, dark and robust as the grading system now tells you. If I’m going to eat maple syrup I want it to really taste like maple.

Things here are coming back down to a new normal. Everything was in place so the transfer of property was seamless. My father’s name has been taken off of everything. The utilities don’t make anything easy to transfer but in my mind I figure if it all takes a month that’s okay.

Dad’s memorial service is next week. The last thing to be taken care of. Looking through hundreds of photographs over the past few days has given me a greater understanding of what it means to have a good life. Sometimes he didn’t see it but he was charmed.

We all need to look through our lives like they are photographs I think. We only take pictures of the good things. The big family events – births, weddings, graduations. Vacations or jobs well finished. When it all comes right down to it it’s the little moments that make up that whole grand life. When I go I want someone to look at the snapshots and say, “Wow, her life was pretty great.” I know I feel as though it has been and I think it’s because I can drop the bad stuff by the wayside.

Live for the moment, don’t dwell on the past, you can’t change any of it. Just remember all of the little gifts because that is what a good life is made of.

Eulogy

March 21, 2016March 21, 2016 / handmadebyjo / 16 Comments

Saturday morning as the sun rose I was sitting by the bedside of my dying father and I had to take this photograph. The scene said so much to me about the state of things at that moment. I had brought him home 9 days earlier and with the help of hospice we were going to send him on his way from the comfort of his own home.

I put his bed in the living room so he would be surrounded with the things he loved and the sunlight could stream in around us all.

There is an African proverb that says, “When and old man dies a library burns to the ground”. These words have gone through my head for the past few weeks knowing the wealth of knowledge we were about to lose.

My father spent his entire life working. He went from high school to the Navy in 1951 during the Korean conflict. He traveled to many different ports, all of which were on the opposite side of the world from Korea.

Once out of the Navy he began working for the power company in Worcester. The building of Yankee Atomic brought his young family to Rowe and he began as one of the original crew. He and my mother bought a ramshackled house on Potter Rd. and he set about improving it. There was no running water, heat or foundation under the house. He’d work by day and every evening would work on improvements. Starting with the basics and moving to comforts.

He began a little menagerie of animals at the time as well. A cat, a couple of goats, a horse. He loved his animals dearly. He moved an old garage from miles away with the help of friends and placed it in the back of the house for their shelter.

All of his hobbies/projects were always on a grand scale. His love of steam came from a childhood spent on his grandfather’s farm that was along the railroad tracks where he watched the train’s daily runs.

He moved his family and animals to Fort Pelham Farm in 1967 and went on a quest to have his own locomotive but ended up with a collection of steam engines and steam-powered equipment that came to him more easily.

He received a grant for using a renewable energy source to power his sawmill with steam and spent a couple of years putting together an amazing network of machinery that allowed him to saw boards while also heating the house with the residual steam from the boiler. It was a sight to behold when running and blowing the whistle when everything was up to steam would let the entire town know what was going on.

While he was working at the plant and at his hobbies he enlisted in the Air Force Reserves out of Westover where he served for many years including active duty for Desert Storm as a loadmaster and in vehicle maintenance.

He retired from Yankee in 1988 and started up his little business making patio furniture keeping him busy into his seventies.

In his later years we talked a lot about weaving and the processes that were used in the woolen mills of his childhood. His parents and grandparents were all part of the weaving community as he grew up. After the flood of 1955 his father bought all of the looms in the weave room at Charlton Woolens for junk and they spent weeks welding pieces of the looms together to make a few running machines out of the many parts that they had. This was the beginning of Alix Woolens, a dream his father had. My father didn’t understand weaving but he knew how the looms worked and as I learned to weave he was right there learning with me, making sure my loom was put together properly and talking about the differences between what they had done and what I was doing.

He talked about weaving until his last few days actually. Partly knowing I was interested but also because I think it brought him back to something he was so fond of. A time when he was working with his father, figuring out how to make a complicated piece of machinery out of so many parts. Firing it up and having it work. He had such pride in that particular accomplishment and I think he was also grateful for his part in helping his father realize a dream. One of my earliest memories is going to my grandfather’s mill and listening to the looms run in the weave room.

So the library burned on Saturday. I have no one to ask about the mechanics of the house. I can only take a guess at where water lines to the barn might be. I have a vague understanding of the septic and sewer or where to buy replacement parts for the cupola on the garage. But I can look around me everywhere and see signs of him (some good, some not so good) and know his presence will be felt here for the rest of my life through the big things and the small.

I’m quite sure there will be many things that I will never understand, those projects begun and walked away from. A universal understanding by anyone who creates anything – sometime things just don’t work out the way you’d planned so they are abandoned. My abandoned projects are quite small in stature compared to the things that make up the amazing collection that is our backyard.

So rest in peace Dad, and thanks for being the crazy, eccentric, brilliant guy that you were. You made our lives interesting and I think you may have taught us to follow our dreams no matter how quirky they might seem.

25 Random Things About Me

February 19, 2016February 19, 2016 / handmadebyjo / 3 Comments

Anyone who has ever been on Facebook has probably been tagged in one of these schemes or another. A fairly new thing that pops up on my Facebook page is called On This Day. What came up was the 25 Random Things About Me that I wrote in 2009. Upon reading it I was struck by how relevent it is today so I thought I’d share.

25 Random Things About Me

1. I live in two worlds – urban and rural. I’m sooo in love with the rural and try to make my urban residence feel as rural as I can. I’m one of the fortunate few in Enfield to actually have more than a postage stamp yard so I have large perennial gardens. We used to sit in Adirondack chairs every night and pretend it was quiet and peaceful (with the traffic going by and the jets making their landing approach to Bradley). Now we have inconsiderate neighbors who let their dogs out into their postage stamp yard abutting ours and they just sit and bark at us (the owners stay in the house). Sometimes people are jerks.

2. I’m currently unemployed but I have a long list of jobs I’ve had beginning with picking blueberries for Jack Cable in Heath. When I think about it now – that job would kill me. I’ve worked as a bookkeeper for Lamson & Goodnow, a photographer for at least 4 different studios over the years as well as owning my own for about 5. I worked as a Nuclear Engineering Clerk, a waitress – which is one of my favorite jobs, sad as that is. I’ve been an Activities Assistant in long-term care, worked in hospice and with people with dementia. I’ve set up offices, been in Administrative Support and was an Executive Assistant to the CEO of a large corporation (if you’ve ever seen “The Devil Wears Prada”, that was totally my job). My favorite job has been mom to my two girls and a fine job I did (with Bill’s help of course).

3. I love dogs, all kinds of dogs. I could have 20 of them but my family keeps me in check. Someday you will read about the lonely old lady who’s house was condemned and they took away 30 dogs.
4. Gardening is a passion. I think I got it from my mother. Flowers mostly and I photograph them all the time.

5. I prefer to drive a standard shift car. One with power.

6. I’m a pile person. I keep my papers in piles. I have a very good memory and know where everything is unless someone touches something.

7. I can multitask like you can’t believe – kinda scary sometimes.

8. I’ve been working on the genealogy of the Alix and Semanie families for over 8 years. I love social history but my kids get scared looks in their eyes when I tell them I can make history come alive for them.

9. I photographed over 4,000 historic quilts for the state of Connecticut’s Quilt Search Project (and made many friends along the way).

10. I collect vintage cabinet cards (old photographs made between 1880 and 1900 or so but only with children and dogs on them. It’s a little surprising how many other people collect them as well.

11. I make hand bound books with photographs and stories for my family.

12. I’m a very good cook. We entertain every Saturday night in Rowe. I love it because it gives me an opportunity to plan a great meal, serve great wine and have a fabulous dessert and I have the whole day (usually) to work on it. It’s actually very relaxing for me – and then we have people over that make us laugh until we’re sick (isn’t that supposed to be therapeutic?).

13. I’m a little obsessed with having my own chickens and making cheese these days. A little concerned about where my foods coming from. I’ve been cooking from scratch for a very long time but now I think about growing my own ingredients. My family thinks I’m a little weird.

14. My favorite flowers are lilies.

15. Lake Winnepesaukee is just about my favorite place on earth I think. We usually go there once a year and stay on Bear Island. We never see our truck for the entire time we’re there and do everything by boat. We have a view of Mt. Washington on a clear day and the water is spectacularly clear.

16. I like the idea of community – this may be because I live in an urban area. When we’re in Rowe we are really surrounded by family and friends. Work gets done as a group. Cutting a spitting wood, putting up a building, painting, demolishing and redoing a room, there are always people there to help us or we’re helping them. This is the way life should be I think.

17. I had a rather odd childhood because my Dad is a bit of an eccentric. Someone was laughing the other day when I told them how many times we had our pictures taken on the backs of trains, trolleys or anything that had anything to do with tracks. Train wrecks – oh the excitement of visiting train wrecks.

18. I have about 3 books in me right now but I can’t get them down on paper. I’ll bet everyone else does too they just won’t admit it.

19. I am the laundry queen – no one goes there.

20. I forced my kids to sit and let me photograph them more times that any of us can count. Now I’m glad I did – except they are all in boxes and not sorted out.

21. Wow, 25 things is a lot. Let’s see, my kids are begging me to write down my story (like every kid begs their parents), I just didn’t think I was that old.

22. I had a total knee replacement in December – I’m doing okay, a little freaked out about having a prosthetic and a metal card. Another reason I felt old – everyone that was on the ortho floor with me was over 80.

23. I love walking in the back forty in Rowe.

24. I have big plans for Middletown Hill Rd. A lot happened this year with minor set backs. I think Bill’s a little scared sometimes at the scale of the whole project.

25. I love winter when it is sooo cold the snow crunches under your feet when you take the dogs out for their nightly constitutional and the stars are so bright you can’t believe your eyes.
There, that’s probably more than you ever wanted to know about one of your bloggers. Practice this yourself, write down 25 things, be honest. Put it away for a few years (like a time capsule). When you bring it out into the light again, if you were honest, things are probably very much the same. I’ve learned that life – the big picture – really works in slow motion. We want things, we work towards things but everything takes its time. The problem we have is wishing our time away when all we really have to do is work towards what goals we have or be our authentic selves and things slowly unfold the way they should. Maybe that’s the key, stepping away and taking a look at how everything is unfolding. It’s not a race, we have to enjoy the ride.

The Return of the Sun

February 2, 2016February 2, 2016 / handmadebyjo / 2 Comments

I read with interest yesterday an article about Candlemas, celebrated on February 2nd, the day halfway between the winter and spring solstices. It is a holiday to celebrate the return of the sun. It was interesting because I was just noticing the lengthening of the days. It’s been easier this year because the winter has been so mild, the temperatures hovering around 50 this week makes it feel like we should be tapping the trees.

This is also when my to do list becomes extremely long and I dare say unrealistic. There is a need to clean out, pare down, remove the cobwebs, air the rooms. It’s like you want to shake off the past year.

I also notice a ramping up of creativity. I just pulled a project from the loom and have three lined up on the table waiting to go on. I have other looms and am seriously thinking of warping all three with different projects. I’m not sure how productive that might be but it’s a thought.

There’s also the rug I continue to hook, the sweater I’m knitting, the teddy bear nearing completion. There are baskets to stain, rooms to paint, furniture to build, cookies to bake. Uhm, yeah, I’m out of control here.

In addition to that a case of wanderlust has come over me. I just want to get into the car and drive, preferably to water (I daresay I’d have to drive to the ocean because everything here is still covered with ice). I don’t even know why the water part matters, I want to visit fiber stores and quilt shops. I want to wind my way through New Hampshire to Maine touching handspun yarn and fine woolen fabric. Looking at looms and shuttles. Changing up the scenery, dreaming up big projects (like I don’t have enough already).

Feels like a serious case of spring fever to me, or maybe just an effort to shake off what has been a harrowing month. Then again it could be something like a mid-life crisis only well beyond the mid-point. Let’s see how this all shakes out.

Review 2015

December 31, 2015December 31, 2015 / handmadebyjo / 3 Comments

Every year I post a year in review that is largely visual in nature. It seems that this year may prove to be different. There have been so many profound changes that the photographs would only just scratch the surface. I’ll throw a few in for good measure though, I can’t resist.

After living with my father for a year and a half I put him back into assisted living. It was a huge learning curve for me – but I learned that I cannot live with negativity day in and day out. Living under a black cloud only drags you into that black abyss and it becomes more and more difficult to climb your way out. In my heart I know it was the right thing to do for everyone involved yet on some level it feels like failure. I’m working on getting over that in ways that feed my soul.

Living here helped me maintain my sanity. The close proximity to nature was a balm many times during each and every day. Being able to see magnificent sunrises so many mornings began my days in a positive way. It was a summer of rainbows – every day it seemed . Hiking trails at the park, new trails in old familiar places brought discovery and appreciation anew. Let’s face it, it’s quiet here, it smells good and nobody bugs you. What more could the introvert in me want?

Then there were weddings, lots of them. My favorite was the marriage of my daughter – here. Ten people, surrounded by my gardens in full bloom. My favorite moment – the family humming Pachelbel’s Canon in D while Amanda and her father walked down the little makeshift aisle, thanks Cait for getting it rolling. Although Amanda and Yusuf have been together for 9 years and we all knew this was coming it still felt like we were giving her away. It was a line for me, both joyous and sad.

As if all of this wasn’t enough November 11th was the birth of our first grandchild. A boy who dear husband Bill never thought he was going to see (and now has big plans for). Another shift in my life – from mother to grandmother. I’m not sure how it affects other people but the generational shift has always been a profound one for me. When Amanda was born it took me a while to wrap my head around going from daughter to mother, I’m still getting use to the idea of going from mom to grandma. He is wonderful and I’m enjoying watching them grow into a loving family.

All through this the constant has been craft. The ability to make and do things with my hands is the thread. It feeds me – no, it is a necessity. If I wasn’t able to create something, on a daily basis, I would have sunk into that deep, dark hole long ago. It sustains me. It seems odd to me in some ways to admit this. I have been a crafter all of my life. My modus operandi is to learn a new craft, work it to what I deem the best I am capable of (more of a plateau really) and move on to the next craft. This year was all about weaving – again. It was the realization that I’ve been searching my entire life for what my hands knew how to do. Weaving has connected me to my past, to people I remember and loved the most. It is something that will probably take the rest of my life to move towards perfection. Meanwhile it calms me and helps me to reflect on daily life, meditation. Something we all need and I daresay find in little things we do. We just need to recognize it.

The new year is promising in so many ways. Growth is what it’s all about. I’ll keep on sharing my skills and insights. I’ll watch my family and friends embrace the changes in their lives and hold them all close because really, that’s what it’s all about.

How Blessed We Are

November 26, 2015November 26, 2015 / handmadebyjo / 4 Comments

As I made my first cup of morning coffee today I considered all that I have to be thankful for. A Thanksgiving day ritual for so many.

I put a couple of pieces of wood on the coals from last nights fire to take the chill out of the kitchen. Thought of all of the time and work put into getting that wood in. Thank you.

I pulled a beautiful, local, 20 pound bird from the refrigerator to bring it up to temperature and considered that it was walking this earth until just a few days ago. Thank you.

I turned on the water and washed my hands in its wonderful warmth. Such a convenience taken for granted. Thank you.

I will walk out to the garden and pull up the very last vegetable there this morning. My rutabagas. Tiny seeds placed in the earth 5 months ago turned into amazing purple and yellow orbs by earth and water, amazing when you think about it. Thank you.

Potatoes that were dug two months ago will be peeled and cooked. Carrots that were pulled and pickled will be chilled will be served. Thank you.

The big table, made by the hands of a favorite friend will be moved into the middle of the room and set. Thank you.

Guests will arrive bearing food they have put time into. The conversations and reminiscing will begin along with the laughter that always ensues. Thank you.

Thanksgiving is about the food, family and friends for me. It’s one of those warm, fuzzy holidays and always has been. This year looked like it would only be three of us eating a 20 pound turkey but evolved last week into a party of 10. One of my favorite things to do it to cook for others. It’s a gift of the heart and hands.

I am a fortunate person. I live most of my time in an extraordinary place and know it. I have a loving family and the most amazing husband who works harder than anyone I know to make all of this happen. The newest member of our tribe was born two weeks ago and he will grow up surrounded by the love of so many. The shift in generations has occurred and I can take up my mantle as grandma to help him know how blessed he is and how blessed we all are to have what we have.

Singing the Praises of Warm Fall Weather

November 6, 2015 / handmadebyjo / 1 Comment

When I opened my eyes this morning, still toasty under the blankets, the room was aglow with a warm, radiant light. Recognizing the signs I jumped out of bed (no easy feat with these achy joints) to be treated to another breathtaking sunrise.

Autumn through spring these are expected but every single one starts the day as a huge gift. I never see them as predictors of the weather, I see them as the beginning of a string of little gifts for the day. It reminds me to look for them.

Minutes later the fog was there and the sky had dramatically changed. The most amazing part was it being so warm outdoors that I could throw on my Mucks and go out in my bathrobe to photograph the changing sky. I seem to recall there being snow on the ground by now last year or at least so cold I would have considered getting dressed first.

The weather has been unusually warm for this time of year with it predicted to last through next week. Thank goodness, there is so much garden work to do. The cold doesn’t usually stop me but it definitely slows me down. Fires have to be lit – physically and mentally in order to get going in the morning. This blessed warm weather keeps the heating costs down.

There are a million things I should be doing indoors, this is usually the time of year when the cold weather projects come out. I look forward to it – the weaving, rug hooking, quilting but it looks like all of it will be put off until after dark at least. My carrots and rutabagas are still in the ground, the perennial gardens need cleaning out. More wood needs to be cut and split. The coop needs to be moved, buildings buttoned up for the winter. Yeah, time to get moving and mentally sing the praises of warm fall weather.

Life’s Complications

October 30, 2015October 30, 2015 / handmadebyjo / 3 Comments

There are moments in life, not everyone’s mind you, when things come out of the blue that give you joy and anxiety and a host of other emotions all in one instant. You feel like laughing, crying and vomiting all at the same time. Finding new family members is one of those instances.

At this point most people know of my reunion with a son I gave birth to more than 40 years ago. The instant it happened the emotions were raw and I dare say violent. This has just happened to a dear friend of mine and I was the bearer of the news.

Adoption touches many more people than I realized. When you’re going through it yourself you think you and your immediate family are the only ones, it closes in around you. Finding my friend’s sister gave me a new perspective. I can also feel the weight of the emotions she’s carrying while a possible reunion is imminent.

We weave a tangled web, all of us. I’ve come to believe by the time you are entering old age you can reflect on your life and think “what a mess”. Some of us have opportunities to revisit some of those messes, they come full circle. Some of us are just encountering messes that were left by other family members that have encompassed us without our knowing for our entire lives.

, your WTF moment.

That’s how it feels and your life takes an unexpected turn. That’s how it felt when I typed “I found her” in the subject line of that email this morning. I was so happy to do it and yet I knew she was crossing a line of demarcation in her life. Wow.

The Love of Handwork

October 29, 2015October 30, 2015 / handmadebyjo / 3 Comments

Fall has come and gone up in the hills – we are now entering the halcyon days. Days with that feeling of urgency to get things done before the snow flies. There are a handful of projects that I really should get done before dark today but a post from a friend struck such a chord with me this morning I needed to share it.

Screw Finding Your Passion by Mark Manson was a post that was music to my ears. It’s something I’ve known intuitively my entire adult life yet I’d bought into what others had told me. I needed a plan, I should find what I love to do and make a living doing that. In the back of my mind I was sort of calling bullshit because my passions are many. They are always evolving. I am one of those people who moves from craft to craft but will only move on when the obsession has brought what I consider perfection. I will work a skill to its highest level I know.

I’ve been this way my entire life. Focus and move on. The problem is that as far as society is concerned what I’ve focused on has never been a way “to make a living”. I think the reality is there are many ways to make a living and without a passion for something it sometimes doesn’t seem worth it. I’ve almost always worked a job that was less than exciting while I pursued my passions.

I’ve recently begun weaving baskets again after a twenty year or more hiatus. Basketry goes hand in hand with weaving textiles – all have the same structure, just different materials. Baskets are 3 dimensional, practical and the materials are fairly inexpensive. I could go harvest things in my back forty to weave and it’s been just another reason to go for a walk about to see what’s out there. Always a different way to see.

With so many years of crafting under my belt I have found now that my real passion is for teaching others to do these things. I feel everyone should make something with their hands – to feel the satisfaction of a finished product unique to them. Learning a craft expands your way of thinking, exercises your brain. As we get older I think we all need to continually learn something new.

I’ve begun teaching people to weave baskets, of all kinds. I started by conning my daughter and grandson into making one. Making these things is an all day affair so it’s not always easy to convince someone it’s worth doing.

Yes, they were smiling here but by the end they were grumbling. I look at this as planting seeds. I was asked why would they need to know how to do this? I told them they now had skills – if they ever needed a vessel they would know how to make one. And their vessels were beautiful and I think they both walked away proud of that they accomplished. Maybe some day they will want to make another.

I put out a message on social media that if anyone wanted to learn to make a basket to contact me and we would do it. People responded and I am teaching which is good but there has been a huge unexpected bonus.

Weeks after I shared I’d be doing this I was contacted by a dear friend from several lifetimes ago. I had not seen or spoken to her for over 18 years. She was visiting her sister and they wanted to make a trip to Fort Pelham Farm to make a basket.

The results speaks for itself but I have to say that the passion for weaving baskets has changed from the crafting of the basket itself to the crafting and cultivation of friendships, new and old. Honestly, that’s something I can truly be passionate about.

No Place for Old Men

September 20, 2015September 20, 2015 / handmadebyjo / 3 Comments

There are projects around here and then there are the PROJECTS. The jobs that require a lot of planning and thinking and some hesitation to start because you know they are going to turn into something unexpected halfway through.

All of the buildings on the property seem to slide in an easterly direction toward the wetter area of the pasture, a slight decline in the topography of the area. For years we just referred to it as “heading for the swamp”. The building that houses our woodshop has been heading that way for a good number of years. It has a dry stone foundation that has collapsed in some areas to the inside of the building leaving it to rest on corners with big, gaping holes looking underneath.

The plan was to do this project last year but time got away from us (and there was no small amount of trepidation at the thought of how much work this was going to be). You have to do a lot of thinking when it comes to these things. Bill and Mike made plans to begin yesterday and now we’re in deep.

The land here is nothing but stones (huge ones) and it’s a known fact going in that digging is going to be a problem. These two guys attacked the under side of the foundation with shovels early on in the morning and quickly realized they were going to need a little help. Up the road one of our neighbors is one of the best backhoe operators I have ever known. In his 70’s now he is still working his magic with the famed piece of equipment. A quick trip up the road brought him down to start digging, saving hours of back breaking work and he left with a dozen eggs.

With the corner dug out raising the building was the next thing on the agenda. Blocking and jacks were put in place.

This is the sort of thing you need to ponder – think through all of the ramifications. There was the possibility of an avalanche of stone with the raising of the building.

They raised it just enough to push the stone through and pull it out from the other side.

Back breaking work.

I am surprised at how smoothly this went. Of course I wasn’t the one moving stone.

And the work for the day ended with pondering the next phase. Making mental lists of the order of things.

A good portion of the sill will have to be replaced, there will be footings poured, some blocks brought in. The stone foundation will be rebuilt. Blocking was put in later in the day to stabilize the corner where a hydraulic jack was used. Materials were purchased and everything readied for Monday.

These old post and beam buildings are so amazingly strong. Even if the jacking in the corner let go I doubt that it would have much of a consequence unless left over time. The best part of seeing this unfold was going into the shop and immediately noticing the difference – things were straight, no more floor sagging to the northwest. Ahhhh.

The other thing is watching New England men, of an older generation, thinking, pondering, discussing each step as they went along. You don’t want to rush into any of this. I think by doing so they also prevent injury – taking the pace slow, drinking lots of water, moving a little at a time. Slow and steady.

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