Maintaining Control

130707 Echinacea

“Optimism sprouts from the knowledge that you are in control of your own life, not your past and not those around you. Part of being in control is taking responsibility for how you feel. This means not just admitting to uncomfortable feelings but then examining your circumstances to see what can be done to change these feelings at the source.”
― Augusten BurroughsThis Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.

I’m not sure if it’s the weather, the water or the fact that far too many people spend so much of their time with social media rather than actually being social but I’ve recently encountered (and sometimes been surrounded by) people that have no idea the effect they have on those around them.  These are people I know well and people I don’t know at all.

For a long while I thought this was just a generation thing – you know all those kids that have been brought up with the internet and less face to face socialization.  I’ve realized that it’s just the way people are now.  They don’t seem to have a filter any more. They open their mouths and say things they think are amusing or just sarcastic and fail to understand that when heard they can cut to the quick.  I thought for a while that it might be an age thing – I know when I hit a certain age I was more likely to throw caution to the wind and say how I felt because it was important to me.  I’ve since learned that I need to assess a situation more carefully before opening my mouth, or at least temper what I was going to say.

I’ve also found that I have less of a need to put myself in a situation where I’m surround by people with negative energy.  I have enough of my own.  If I am around people that are negative, complaining, gossipy I become one of them and continue to be after they are no longer there.  I’ve chosen not to do that anymore.

Last week was an amazing week for me (other than the weather).  I was surrounded by the people I love most in the world for days.  Food, family and fun, that’s what it was.  It was our vacation for this summer, it was a staycation in Rowe.  In surrounding myself with these people I realized that I was renewed, relaxed and re-energized.  We all have those “friends” or family members that suck the life out of a room – you know what I’m talking about – or the ones that bring drama into every situation.  I’ve made a conscious decision to move away from those people, I’ve had to do it for my own sanity.  Life is hard enough without someone bringing you down to wallow in their misery.

This blog has helped tremendously in my outlook on things.  I try to write about things that are uplifting or at least sane.  I’m trying to keep my sanity here.  I think negative thinking and spreading it around robs you of what is so good in the world – to laugh, love, eat, drink, and sharing your gifts with those around you.  We all need to look for the good we have to offer and then offer it.  It changes your life, it changes your outlook and with any luck it can help change those around you.

One comment on “Maintaining Control

  1. lucindalines says:

    Great idea to move from those who “suck the life” out of you. I also understand the drama thing. A few years back, I was the drama. I finally learned you have to pick your battles, you really cannot fight all of them. I also have been learning within the last few months that sometimes other people just want to vent, they don’t want you to solve, and I can now listen without owning their drama or their problems. I just let them roll off. It may sound harsh to some, but it saves your sanity. Keep up the efforts, you are headed in the right direction.

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